Taking away the pain
by extracullen95
Summary: Edward left bella. She finds life unbearable and takes away the pain by taking her own life. She wakes up in a coma with edward beside her. She then learns that to the world you may be one person,but to one person you may be the world.
1. taking away the pain

Note: I don't own any of these characters or any of the twilight series.

Bella POV

A tear brushed down the side of my cheek. The only thing warm I could feel and it felt _so_ cold.

Everything I had cared about had left me all alone in the dark. And he wasn't about to come back. Because he didn't want me-he didn't love me-and he didn't care about me. Who could blame him? He was so perfect and I was so not.

1 and a half years had passed and I refused to forget. How could I? _His _face was the only thing that had kept me going. His smile, his touch, his voice…

Jacob appeared in my mind - how hurt would he be? It didn't matter. The only thing I did was making him miserable by not loving him in the way that he loved me. My heart was made for the boy who had abandoned me-specifically designed to love him and now it had no need to function anymore-it was made redundant. My heart had broken into pieces and nothing; no one -not even Jacob could heal it. There was a hole in my chest, which ached every minute and every second of the day.

My heart now ceased to exist. Only pain emitted off of it and dead, broken love.

Wind blew in my hair and I let it carry all of my pain with it. It flew gently away as I gazed onto the road that would be my saviour. Just one step and it would all end. Charlie would get over it. If all I did was mope around and hardly speak a word, then what difference did it make when I was gone?

Would it hurt?

Not as nearly as much as it hurts now.

I took a shy step forward and shut my eyes, waiting for the voice in my head. Senses told me to step back, but my head and feet told me otherwise.

"_Bella! What are you doing! Please step back, please!_" His velvet soft voice made the corners of my mouth pull up into a smile. I could imagine his face more clear than ever now.

" I love you so much, still!" I shouted up into the sky, tears flowing down my cheeks. He wouldn't be able to hear it, but I needed to say it. Before I - _went._

"_Please Bella. Don't be stupid. Just go home and sta-" _But then it was too late. I had taken a lunge into the road in front of a car and everything had dissolved into pure, mocking darkness.

And then the pain ceased to exist.


	2. A perfect face

**Edwards POV**

No. This couldn't have been happening. Impossible. She would never do anything so stupid and reckless. How could there be a world without Bella?

I just stared at Alice, my dumbfounded face morphed into excruciating pain. She was serious. My unbeating heart had stopped a long time ago, but now, it had truly stopped.

"Edward…"her voice broke as she attempted to make her face expressionless, but it didn't work. Pain and horror wrenched her face; if she looked so bad then I imagined how I must of looked.

1 and a half years. It felt like a century every day without her. She wouldn't have done anything to herself-she just couldn't. The volturi would always be an option if she _did _do anything to herself but…

" Edward, don't do anything rash. She might not have done it, or she could change her mind…"doubt weighted her voice down and guilt weighed mine. This was all my fault. Even when I was away from her, I put her in danger. But I never thought I would have to keep her safe from herself. I shut my eyes fiercely, hoping I would shut the pain away with it. It didn't work the slightest bit.

"You need to go and stop her and see if she's ok" the urgency and pain was so strong, I couldn't recognise my own voice. Alice blinked back at me.

"And what, Edward? Give you the signal to kill yourself if she's not ok? I can't do that, god damn it. I just cant if she's not al-alive." She must've seen my future because I desperately knew in my dead heart that she wasn't fine and dandy. And I had it all planned out what I would do if Bella weren't on this earth with me. And she saw that.

"I…I know I have to go, Alice. But I cant - not if she's dead. I cant live without her for much longer-and I need to see her face again. But not if its dead, cold and pale. I cant leave her alone when she is like that but I am afraid I already have."

Alice stared back at me her face more white than usual.

"Go get her and give her what's rightfully hers." She smiled when she saw my confused face. "Your heart, Edward." I did a sad attempt to smile back but the pain was too much to bear.

I drove back to forks, so fast I didn't dare look at the speedometer. What seemed like decades, I finally reached the road where Alice saw Bella stepping into the road. My head started to throb as I heard people's thoughts bubbling up inside my mind. There was nothing but irrelevant voices that droned on about holidays and lunch. No investigation signs and no flowers. The tiniest bit of hope flashed in my mind but then quickly dissolved. She could have changed her mind about how to do it-or she could be in hospital seriously hurt.

I opened the door so hard that the handle nearly came off. My foot stepped down so hard that screeches emerged from the car. The desperation inside me was so hard that I started to shake.

I headed for Bella's house.

I ran to the door using vampire speed and slipped in through the open window.

"Bella? Bella?" I whispered loudly, roaming the house for any people. No Charlie and no Bella. I stopped breathing. There was only one option left. And that was the hospital where her life most likely hung by a thread.

What if she wasn't going to be ok, and I had to watch her die because I couldn't leave her?

What if she was going to be ok but didn't want me? Not that I would blame her.

What if she was already dead and would never know how much I love and have always loved her?

And what if I couldn't resist her blood that I had been avoiding for so long?

All I wanted was to see her face again. More than anything in the world.

I sprinted through the doors, close to human speed. The receptionist straightened up her hair and brushed her skirt down.

_Wow he looks yumm-_

"Has a girl called Bella swan been taken in?" I interrupted the receptionist's thoughts as she checked through the system. Her face appeared solemn suddenly.

"I am very sorry, but she has been put into a coma and is staying in intensive care. I can take you there if u like…"she walked around her desk and shouted for a woman named Marie to take over. I silently followed her as she walked slowly through the bright, white corridor. People rushed in and out through the doors, with grief stricken or stress filled faces. My head didn't think or listen to what everyone else was thinking. The only thing that played through my mind was Bella's smile and the warmth she had in her rosy cheeks. I wouldn't want to see it any other way.

The receptionist showed me to the door and nodded as she walked back the way we came. I stared at the door. The small rectangular window displayed a knackered out Charlie and the end of a bed. I held my breath as I lunged towards the room that contained my Bella.

Her face was so white. Almost as chalky as my complexion and she was covered with plaster, bruises and scratches. But it was her. And the face I had missed for more than a year was right in front of me, as perfect as ever.

And then I forgot we were not alone in the room when I stepped towards her, my guilt as heavy as ever. Charlie his eyes wide and alert stepped between us.

"YOU HAVE SOME GUTS SHOWING UP HERE! LOOK AT MY DAUGHTER! CAN YOU SEE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?" Charlie screamed as he pointed his index finger to my chest attempting to threaten and intimidate me. I reluctantly turned my head to Bella who laid still, a machine plugged into her. I winced. "Yes. I hope you're proud." Tears filled up in his eyes ready to spill over.

"Charlie, I didn't mean for any harm to come to her. I love her god damn it." I growled quietly. Charlie's face dropped.

_Love? Is leaving her all alone called love? You filthy little-_

"I left because I thought it was the best thing for her. I never thought she would do something like this. I thought she would cope…I-I really want to see her and be alone with her for a few moments. Please. And if - when - she wakes up and doesn't want me here then I will leave. I just need to see her face again, I have been without it for too long." Charlie's face was shrouded with disgust, but stepped outside of the room, hissing and cursing words that included my name.

I walked over to Bella, who looked like she was in a deep sleep. I stroked her hair back and smiled at her incredible warmness. I leaned forward to her ear.

"I love you" I whispered, as I shut my eyes and kissed her on her forehead. The machine started to beep. "Bella?"

Her eyes fluttered open and confusion flustered her face. She slowly lifted herself up and cried in pain. Her gaze met my eyes.

"Edward?" She whispered, tears streaming down her face, as she looked up at me.


	3. The kiss

**Author's note: I just wanted to thank everyone for their reviews coz they made me really happy and inspired me to write more!! I will definitely keep on writing and the reviews are really helpful so keep them coming! ;) **

**Bella's POV**

And that day I was awoken by an angel. He spoke softly in my ear the three words my love used to say to me. And then I opened my eyes to see what heaven looked like. It certainly didn't look like heaven; I shuffled upright when a stabbing pain shot through me. I cried out in pain as my head relapsed into a sharp pressing pain. I looked up to find I must've been in heaven. Because two brilliant topaz eyes that belonged to a perfect face stared at me.

I looked round once more to find I wasn't in heaven, but a hospital bed. A sudden shot of realisation cut through me like a knife as tears escaped from my eyes.

"Edward?" I choked on the name. The name I had avoided saying for over a year and a half, and the name I thought I would never had to use again. We stared at each other for a moment-I'm not sure how long but our moment was broke when Charlie burst into the room.

"Bella! You're awake!" Charlie and Renee stumbled past Edward, throwing their arms around me as I winced with pain. Charlie backed off and blushed. "Sorry" he muttered, a grin on his face.

"Its fine" I replied with a groggy voice that sounded like death. "How long have I been here?"

"2 days." Renée replied, her expression worried. Her face now looked stern "Bella, why on earth would you throw yourself under a car? Tell me you're not suicidal Bella, please…"Her eyes shined with tears and her voice tinted with hurt. She turned her head towards Edward. "Is it because of him? You said he was just a crush, Bella. Life goes on-you don't go and throw yourself under a car because he broke up with you." She turned towards Edward with a blank face. His perfect face remained still, his eyes not turning away from mine. Tears continued to flow freely down my face.

"Mum, I didn't know what else to do!" I sobbed into my hands, shutting away the world.

Why would he come back now? What did he want? I knew I wanted him more than anything, but if he felt the same way about me, why would he leave me all alone?

I stared back at him, imagining that he was here because of some accident I had and he was comforting me. Like the couple we used to be. Why couldn't it be like that?

Why couldn't everything be as perfect as it used to be?

"Mum, dad, thanks for being here for me and everything, but can I have a few minutes to Edward please?" My eyes glued onto my hands, which twitched around nervously. Renee nodded and dragged Charlie out of the room with her.

My gaze locked with Edwards.

"Edward, why are you here? Not that I object, but…why did you come back?" my hand still twitched.

"Bella, how could I let you throw yourself in front of a car and not be there for you? I have a lot of things to explain. And if you don't want me, then I will understand."

His face had a strange expression set on it. One that I had never seen before.

"I love you still, after everything. But you don't love me so stop giving the guilt trip Edward. I wont try to kill myself again, so you can go home if you want. I will be fine, I promise." The room filled with reunion -

"I left because I needed to keep you safe. After that incident with Jasper, I couldn't take that risk again. You are too much to gamble. I have missed you so much, from the beginning, all the way through. And then I heard you were going to commit suicide…_suicide_, Bella?"

"I didn't know what else to do." I hung my head. " My life without you was unbearable. I tried to convince myself that I _would_ move on, that I _could _find happiness again, but I knew it wasn't going to happen. Not without you." My heart hammered against my chest.

"When I said I didn't want you, I didn't mean it! How could you believe everything I had said? It was deepest type of blasphemy to this world, Bella. You are the only thing that keeps me living-that you are safe and happy. If I knew that you were suffering as bad as me then I would have come back. I want to stay with you forever-But if you don't want me to, then I would understand. I have hurt you so much and I know I can never be forgiven and I will never forgive myself. But if I ever see you hurt…or dead then my world will cease to exist. Because you are my drug, remember?" He slightly smiled his crooked smile and brushed the side of my cheek, he then lowered it down and held my hand.

"But I am one person. What difference would it make if I were gone?" I looked down, not wanting to see his reaction. He sighed heavily. He took his hand and lifted my head up by my chin, lightly.

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world." he replied softly, his words like velvet. I pulled him closer so I could kiss him, and my heart pumped furiously. But he didn't pull away too soon either. We had been away too long from each other, and this was the kiss that banded us together again. My hand held onto the back of his neck as I spoke.

"I only want you. No one else. I want you to stay with me for every minute of every day, and never leave me."

"Okay" he said "But don't ever leave me in the way you tried 2 days ago." And with that I nodded and inhaled his sweet scent that I had been away from too long.


	4. Decisions

**Renees POV**

That's when she pulled him closer to kiss him. I didn't know what to think. They loved each other – that was simply a fact. But was this right to just let them make possible mistakes? My poor Bella, she could have to go through all that heartbreak again, I thought in my head as tiredness swept over me like a tidal wave. I sighed heavily as I smacked my head against the wall next to me.

Charlie came and peeked through the window, his eyes widening.

"I swear, Renee, when I go in there again, please restrain me from snapping his neck in half!" Charlie's fists balled up as his jaw clenched together.

"Charlie, you have to behave yourself in front of your suicidal daughter! Look, I know you are upset about how he left her, but he really does love her, I can see it in his eyes. And I can definitely see it in her eyes too. Just be civilised about this." I huffed as I turned towards the door, watching them as they held each other in a tight embrace.

" But how do you know he loves her, Renee? He left her – just look what he's done to her!" Charlie almost screamed, flinging his hands about as he turned a bright red.

"Because he looks at her the way you used to look at me." Silence filled the air for a moment as he dropped his head. " Can't you remember the way we used to be? Our parents hardly approved. Just remember how we used to act, before you go and _snap his neck_" I smiled warmly to get a nod from Charlie back. "Now lets get the nurse to tell her she's awake" I nudged him as we left Bella and her boyfriend to talk alone.

And that's when I realised I had already made up my mind before realising it.

I was going to let her go and choose if she wanted to be with Edward.

Funnily enough, this was the moment that truly felt I was letting her go and allowing her to be independent. Every mother wants the best for their child, and deep in my heart I didn't want Edward and Bella to turn out like Charlie and me, but she really needed to find her own path in life. That was the precise moment I realised she needed to make her own life, not the life I should have chosen.

**Edwards POV**

Her smell was as luring as ever, but I didn't want to let her go. If I ever did go to heaven, then this would be it.

I kissed her chocolate brown hair as she grasped onto me tightly.

" I am so sorry for leaving you." I whispered as her heartbeat increased. I smiled as I pulled back so I could see her face again. Her eyes were drawn, and her cheeks were as pale as paper. Dark shadows lurked underneath her eyes where she had lacked sleep somehow, even though she had been in a 2-day deep sleep.

Our stare lasted timelessly, when a nurse came in to examine her. My eyes never left Bella, who was answering a load of questions the nurse threw at her. For some reason, I didn't hear what anyone was saying. All there was was Bella, and nothing else mattered. A wide smile broke out as I realised that Bella was mine again, and I was hers.

**Charlie's POV**

I entered in the room as the nurse quizzed Bella about how she felt.

"…Yes, it hurts a bit here as well." She pointed to her shoulder, which was badly bruised. The nurse nodded once more and wrote it down in her notepad.

"Okay then. No need to worry, you should be just fine." The nurse smiled cheerily as I came protectively close to Bella who was holding Edwards hand.

"When will I be able to go home?" Bella questioned the nurse, looking extremely tired.

"In about 2 more days maybe. You still have a seriously injured body. But I am sure you will last that long with your boyfriend and family to keep you company! You are very lucky; most people wouldn't have been able to wake up. Unfortunately you will have to expect aches and pains for the next couple of weeks." She smiled and then turned to me. "I can arrange a physiatrist to help if you want- a professional that deals with your daughters state of mind. It could help a lot and provide someone to talk to and can also be provided in the hospital premises."

My heart thumped heavily as I scanned the room full of faces. I turned to Renee who shook her head furiously. I then turned to Bella whose eyes widened with shock. Edwards face remained neutral, however, like he already knew the answer to the question being asked.

"That wont be necessary. If my daughter needed to talk to anyone, I am here." I responded, as my eyes flickered to Renee whose eyes stuck to the floor. The nurse once again nodded her head.

"I'm afraid Bella needs some more rest. Can you all please leave the room? Thank you." We all shuffled one by one out of the door saying our 'sleep well and recover' wishes to Bella.

Edward greeted me properly, but all I could do was stare back at him blankly. Anger and all the emotions that was associated with it, lavered up inside of me. Renee nudged me, but all I did was snarl back at her. She shook her head with disgust and dragged Edward down to the coffee machine.

And I was left alone to think about what my daughter's - my baby Bella's – future had in store for her. And what Edward had to do with it.


	5. This is really happening

**Authors note: I would just like to say another thanks for all of your reviews and especially **_**cullenist1918**_** who has cheered me on through writing! Thanks loads for the support!! ******

**This was also my first fanfic, by the way, and now I will definitely write more thanx to all of you lot!**

**Edwards POV**

Renee led me through the wide corridors, to the coffee machine. I knew what was going to happen, and I wouldn't be able to defend myself. I _couldn't_ defend myself from the accusations she would throw at me.

"Do you want some coffee, Edward?" She asked as she threw me an inviting smile.

"Umm, no thanks, I'm fine." I replied as I helped her put the cup underneath the machine. It was silent for a short while as she sipped her coffee.

"Edward, so tell me a bit about yourself. I don't think I know a lot about you." She stated as I raised an eyebrow, confused at this kind of talk.

" Well…my foster parents move around a lot because of Carlisle's work-he's a doctor, and we moved to forks because he liked this small hospital and could see he could do a great deal of help…"

"Sounds like a good man" She slurped another drink from her coffee as her eyes remained on me.

"He is" I nodded as I fiddled with my rock hard hands. "Well…we moved here and I met Bella in school. There isn't much to say about me really."

"Okay then. And you love my daughter?" Her face remained neutral as I stood there gawping at her. How would she know I loved Bella? She hardly ever saw her and me together, and Charlie thought extremely different.

" Yes. Yes I do." I dropped my gaze to the floor not wanting to see her expression. "And I am very sorry for leaving her."

" Why did you leave her, Edward?" She quizzed, as I tried not to hear her thoughts that constantly whispered in my head.

" It's complicated. Umm…I thought it would be the best thing for her and I didn't realise that it would hurt her as bad as it hurt me."

"And you are back together now?"

" Yes, but if she felt that she didn't want me anymore, then I would leave, but if she doesn't want me to go, then I will stay with her as long as I live" She nodded again and drunk some more from her coffee.

" You are a good kid, Edward. And I know you will keep her safe from any harm that haunts her." She laughed.

"Yes, I will." I replied as I smiled at her.

" I am sorry for the way Charlie acted, he's a bit too overprotective"

" Its fine. I don't blame him, considering what I've done to Bella."

"Hmm. Considering the amount of time she spent with Jacob, I think he would have bet that them two would become an item."

I stared blankly at her.

"Jacob black?" I asked as she nodded. Bella had been around a werewolf all the time I was gone! I couldn't believe this. They were dangerous. I remembered that innocent Emily's face – the scars and the disfigurement that could have been a result to her death. And then I thought of Bella and what that could have done to her. I found myself drowning in thought when I caught Renee's confused gaze directed at me.

" Is he here now?" I asked, panic rising through me as I remembered the treaty and what would probably happen if we both couldn't control our anger.

" No, he said he couldn't come because of something, something important. Why, is there a problem?"

"No. There's no problem."

**Bella's POV**

I couldn't get to sleep. I missed Edward too much already. All I could do was smile and nothing else came into my mind apart from his face. He really did love, want and need me too.

And then my smile faded. Jacob. How would he react? And where was he?

Questions circled my mind as I felt the excessive force of sleep weighing down on me.

I opened my eyes slowly to find the most beautiful person staring at me.

" Good morning sweetheart" Edward leant down to kiss my forehead as my lips stretched out into a huge grin.

" Morning. Have you been here all night?" I smiled as he blessed me with his crooked smile.

" How could I be away from you for much longer? I can't dream about you so I might as well be with you for as long as I would have been if I _could_ sleep." His smile dropped slightly for a second as he examined me. "So I have heard that you have been around Jacob a lot…"

I dropped our gaze and picked my nails.

" Mhmm." I responded. Edward lowered his gaze and his face became more serious.

"Bella, do you know what Jacob is?"

" Yes" his face stayed in a mask of shock as he sat silent for a moment.

" Do you realise how dangerous he is?"

"No, because he's not dangerous."

" Do you still plan to meet him after you get out of here?"

" Yes"

" Do you know about the treaty us and the dogs made?"

" Yes"

" Okay then. What has exactly happened since I've been away? And what on earth made you hang out with a pack of werewolves?"

" Edward don't judge them, you don't even know them" I replied, as I held his glare, wanting to look away but not stand down. Edward looked away first.

" You're right. I am sorry. But seeing that Emily's face has petrified me that, that might happen to you…or worst."

"It's fine, but please take in to account that Jacob has been a really good friend to me and has helped me when you were away. I probably would have done worst to myself if he weren't there for me."

" And I will thank him, Bella. But please can I just ask that you don't see him until you are fully recovered and – where I know you will be safe. Promise?"

"Promise" I smiled as I held up my pinkie. "So how is everyone? How's Alice?"

I remembered their breathtaking faces and then I realised how much I had missed them. Being away from them for so long had made me think that all of the good things that had left had just been a fairytale. And now Edward was back, the fairytale was starting to piece itself together again and I was as ready to take it.

"They are all fine – Jasper has had a bit of a relapse though – but we were there just in time to save the guy. And I just phoned Alice to tell her we are fine and safe." He reassured me with a dazzling smile, as my cheeks flushed, no doubt a bright red.

" How are you going to stay? I thought you moved off somewhere, how's that gonna work?" I wondered out loud as he brushed the side of my cheek with his thumb.

"Don't worry, Bella. We are all going to move back and Carlisle is going to work at this hospital again. Its all been arranged over the phone." He laughed as I lowered myself back down, finding myself upright with worry.

"Wow, this is really happening, isn't it?"

" Yes. Yes it is." He chuckled again.


End file.
